Losing

There is a lot that comes with becoming an adult. Things like graduating high school, going to college and starting a future, but one of the hardest that I have found is the all too real truth that friends grow  apart no matter how many promises are made.

I have cried too much over this small detail because I know it is just a fact of life, but what makes it so hard is that I know why we are growing apart. It isn’t just because of college and graduation, but it is because we all have different priorities. Right now I am focused on getting my pilot’s license, and building myseld up to be the best freaking student in my college graduating class of 2019 and be the top student in the NROTC class of 2019 just so I can have that pilot slot. I am well aware of how much work I have to put in to get where I want to go in life, and I am  doing much of that work now, but it really hurts and is hard to see my friends and I grow apart.

I want to be closer to them, and I  try to be, but it is hard putting effort into friendships when the others aren’t putting any effort into them. I only ask that they support me as I try to do for all of them, but lately they have been making me choose between my goals and them. If they really are my friends, they should see that I should not have to choose between them and my future, right? Like if I were to ask one of them to blow off work or sailing to hang out with me they would look at me with the crazed eyes I look at them with when they ask me to blow off CAP or flying.

I am just ready for the new start college is going to give me. Yes, I want to stay friends with the people I’m friends with now, but I’m ready to be friends with new people too. People who don’t ask me to choose between them and my future because in the end, I will always choose my future, no matter how distant it makes me with the friends I have made in school. Yes I may regret it in the short run and I may even lose some friendships, but if they are really my friends, they will still be my friends in the end.

The future is a scary thing, and it has a lot of changes, and right now I am ready to face those changes head on and embrace them, now more than ever.

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