Dear College or University,
Having now reviewed the many rejection letters received in the last few weeks, it is with great regret that, despite your college’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I must inform you that I am unable to accept your rejection at this time.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. Unfortunately, the number of rejection letters that I can accept is very limited. It is for this reason that I was forced to reject the rejection letters of many qualified institutions. Please understand that this is in no way a judgment of you as a college or as an institution, since my decision has more to do with the rejection pool than anything else— with such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
This was not an easy task. Each rejection was reviewed carefully and on an individual basis. Many factors were taken into account, such as size of the institution, student-faculty ratio, location, reputation, cost and social atmosphere. Elimination under this system does not mean your university is not suitable for rejection, but merely reflects the high caliber of colleges and universities competing for my acceptance of their rejection letters.
I am aware of the disappointment that this decision may bring, for these were not easy judgments. Throughout my deliberations, I have kept in mind the importance to you of this decision. I wish it were possible to cite specific reasons for each of the determinations I have made but, frankly, it is not.
It was even necessary for me to reject some letters that were clearly qualified as rejections. This is surely my loss. Since all of my decisions are made at one time and all available rejection spaces have been committed, all decisions are final. Therefore, I am sorry to say I will be attending your university this Fall. I look forward to seeing you then.
I appreciate your disinterest in me, and, although it may seem inappropriate to you at this time, let me take the opportunity to wish you the best of luck in rejecting future applicants.